ramble ramble..

When a relationship (I mean, any kind) ends, something inside you dies with it too. You may not realize this right away, but as time passes, you notice that you have grown indifferent towards certain feelings and emotions. It works pretty much in the "immunization" fashion. The initial pain is mind-numbing. But this may turn out to be a good thing in the long run for you. You are stripped of your layers of sensitivity and you get tougher. In this sense, it is a necessary evil, if you will. Lucky are the people who strike gold the first time. What say?!

honesty-best policy, really??

To what extent does one need to be honest in a relationship or with anybody in general? Agreed, honesty is essential and is among the sustaining elements of trust-worthy relation, but what is the limit to which one needs to be honest? Can one draw the line in this regard? If a certain truth/fact would hurt the other person and if it is not important in the long run, can one decide not to let it out. Could this be termed "cheating" or being dishonest?

Togetherness

As I was talking to my husband tonight, i was engulfed by a feeling of self-sympathy and sadness. I was missing him beyond words. After the chat, my mind drifted down the memory lane, through the past year we have known each other. More than once have I wished this duration to be longer. Indeed, 1 year is such a short time in our lives, out of which a few months we have blissfully spent together. Now, on the 2 extreme ends of the coast, all we get of each other is a couple of hours at the most of chatting over phone. Even that is cut short considerably, come my exams, submissions or his deadlines and conferences. Well, as I realise sadly, life is only going to get busier. In this light, our moments of togetherness are priceless. I only pray that they never stop growing and hope these times of separation are worth it in the end

First Impression

Heard of, but have never experienced the hackneyed "love at first sight". On the other hand, I have, not very infrequently, felt "hate at first sight". An example which comes to my mind in this regard is the movie personality Will Ferrell. I have no idea why, but I really do loathe his persona.
Even in real life, there have been instances where my dislike for a person right from the first was so strong that I would have gone through many a trouble to avoid him/her. In fact,this whole business of first impressions, to my mind, defies all logic. I mean, what can a first glance at a person do that could possibly make you like or dislike him/her, without ever having come into contact before? Beats me!! some chemical locha in the brain maybe ;)

Unselfish??

This thought struck me out of the blue. Is there anything like a truly unelfish act in this world? I happen to remember an episode of my favorite "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" in this regard. It is the episode where Joey and Phoebe wager on the same lines, Phoebe trying to prove that there is indeed something like a truly unselfish act and Joey discrediting all her attempts. I don't quite remember how this ends, but in my opinion, Phoebe was wrong.

To begin with, how does one define an unselfish act? Well, I would say, something which is not beneficial or good to oneself in any remotest sense. Am I right? And, as a human, you cannot remain indifferent when you perform an altrustic act. At the very least, you have a glowing sense of satisfaction and happiness. If it is a loved one you have helped, then there is the accompanying gratification of having been there. The bottom line of these arguments is that you end up feeling good about yourself through these "seemingly unselfish" acts.

Apathy, thou name is life

When did life get so devoid of emotions? Everything is a matter of fact affair. Everybody is so self occupied and prepossessed with the mundane goings on that the feelings and events in somebody else's life, however close or important the other person, does not deserve more than a moment's attention.
You are practically alone in this world, especially when it comes to your feelings and emotions. Long gone are the days when we spent hours of yapping about sweet nothings and discussing our deepest sentiments with our near and dear ones. This is the age of articulation. Be out with it or be off with it. That is what it has come to now.
When and how and did things come to this stage? Maybe it is excess of emotions which culminated in a state of apathy. If it is the load at work place for one, it may be geographical distance for somebody else. Reasons, there is no dearth. But the fact is, the age of "best friend" has come to an end. For all practical purposes, you are your best friend your soul mate and your sole confidant. If you still cannot accept this and believe otherwise, I am afraid, you are up for a heart-break and cruel awakening. All the best to you in that time.

Word Power

Ever been in the blue and some kind words from a friend or even a perfect stranger brightened your day? A sweet word or two from your loved ones has even more power. Ofcourse, the opposite too, perfectly holds good.

Recently, my husband had been on a hike to the half dome in Yosemite National Park. A 17 mile hike along the mist trail, 6 hours each way, peaking to a staggering 8836 ft was definitely not going to be rosy walk. The last stretch of the trail to the top is along the steep dome and is enabled using chains. Arduous on the way up, one cannot help but feel terrified of the downward slide along the chain. When he called me up that day, after the day long hike, exhausted but thrilled, he confessed that he was terribly scared and apprehensive during the first stretch of the way down. Then he said something very sweet - "he thought that he has to make his way down for my sake. Knowing that I will be waiting for him, anxious, to share his experience, was a force enough to overcome his fear". These words made my day and many more to come.

Into the light

I grope in the dark,
Helpless and lost
Behind the shadows I lurk
For what is to come now.

All hope seems lost now
Is this the twilight ere dusk or dawn
It matters not, for I know
At the end, is the light of a new day

Rise and shine, sings my heart
To welcome the soft light of the dawn
The hour of the darkness drawing to an end,
Brace to greet the glow of the morn

To wait and endure
With a faint hope in my heart
Is but the lone cure
To lead my mind into the light.

Much ado abt ..wht??

As I was skimming through the news this morning, I noticed that the science section was all about argument on demotion of Pluto. The astronomical circle, it seems, is all abuzz with this very "vital" issue these days. They are going all out to come up with a draft of uniform definitions and terms for galactic objects and phenomena across the world. Also included in this draft conference would be the judgement of fate of 3 other celestial bodies. If all goes well, Pluto would be retained as a planet and so would be these 3 other bodies. And so, the solar system as we have been taught to believe, would expand from 9 to 12 planets. Kudos to these brave astronomists! What a universe-saving war they are waging out!

Frankly, I fail to see the relevance or importance of these kinds of studies or discoveries in our human, earthly lives. What matters if Pluto is a planet or not, whether our solar system has 9 or 12 or 20 planets? Oh yeah, I forgot, the astrological formulae depend on these numbers and facts, dont they?! Call me narrow-minded, but my blood boils everytime I come across such news, to think of how much funding goes behind all these studies. When there is so much going on in this planet of ours, this seems a waste to my mind. Or maybe, their way of looking at this is, atleast there is no bloodshed involved, it is a peaceful, intellectual battle.

The Everest Experience

On a lazy, hot Saturday morning, for the lack of any better way of spending our time, my husband and I decided to catch the movie/documentary, Everest on IMAX. Not sure whether it was because this was my first IMAX experience or not, this one was surely out of the world for me and most definitely humbling.

The film begins by taking a peek at each of the four team member's lifestyle, passion and drive for acheiving the unfathomable. One among them is the son of the legendary sherpa, Tenzing Norgay. Another was about to become a legend herself by being the first Spanish woman to make it to Everest summit.

The nearly 3D feel of the IMAX theatre adds to the special effects and makes it an almost real life experience. It is as if one is a part of this team, echoing every bit of their emotional and physical hardships on their trail to the summit.

What follows is a hair-raising sequence of events as this ambitious team of mountaineers finally set out on the hazardous journey to the summit. The journey takes us across creaking icefalls and steep, snow-clad regions ever threatening to give way to a life crushing avalanche, as the team moves from the base camp to the middle camp. After a 2 day trek from the middle camp, on the way to the high camp (about three fourths the distance to the summit), an unforseen snow storm breaks out at the summit, sending all the expeditioners rolling down and taking the lives of many. Those nearer the camp make it back, others left in the cold to their death. Benumbed by this ghastly incident and their spirits irreparably crushed , the team gets back to the base camp.

Here, they wait for days and weeks for the storm to die down. Seeing other teams of expeditioners pack their bags only makes them more determined. Summoning all their courage, they once again embark on the journey. When they do make it to the summit this time, their sense of achievement and power simply conquers you. And I had to remind myself once more that this was no fiction. It was a true story of ordinary people with extra-ordinary will power and courage, who made their dreams come true against all odds. This was a salute to these heroes.

This day...that age

Times change and everything else with it. At the risk of sounding cliched, change is indeed the only constant thing, or so it finally dawned on me. Not long ago, I had this perfectly normal life. A decent job with a decent pay, cosily ensconced amid my family of loving parents and adorable brother, hang out with a cool group of friends in the rocking city of Bangalore. Looking back now, I feel there was nothing more I could have possibly wanted. But yet, how many evenings can I not recall getting back from work, frustrated, unsatisfied with the day's banality, yearning for something different. Well, but that was then...

Now, having been granted a fair share of all my heretofore shortcomings and more, I realise how much of that life I miss plus the need for more changes. I miss the everyday humdrum, the security that came with it, the warmth of the people around, I even miss the traffic!

And now, when I has turned to a We, the needs and aspirations are at a totally different level. Still being labeled as newly weds, we are invited over for lunches, dinner etc., by my husband's colleagues and friends. What I used to avoid then as boring outings, have turned out to be friendly and fun occasions now. And many a time, we end up having a gift/present in our hands at the end of it. A year ago, if somebody had handed to me a gift coupon of 100 dollars, my mind would have raced madly to list what clothes, books and fancy items i could buy with that. Not anymore. Now, I am more than happy to make use of it in our continual efforts to transform the bachelor-pad into a home.

I really wonder if this is pretty much the pattern of my life : not appreciating the present and missing the past...Not being satisfied with what I have, letting the happy moments slip by in the hope for better ones..I hope this changes too.

Gone with the wind

This has been on the top of my all time favorite books ever since I first read it in my undergrad days. Captivated by the inimitable narration, I held on to every dialog, visualized every scene of the book. Rhett Butler and Scarlet O'Hara are undoubtedly one of the most memorable characters I have come across.

Personally, I am one of those who believe that a silver screen adaptation of a book, more often than not ,fails to do it complete justice. If sometimes, it is a part of the plot which is twisted, some other times it is the failure to bring about the essence of the book itself. For the same reason, I have avoided watching the movie versions of my favorite classics. Ofcourse there have been exceptions. Love Story was the only such example to me till I happened across a dvd of the Gone......

This movie is more than a fair adaptation of the book. The passionate performances of the cast brings the book and the characters to life. The period setting is immaculate and awe inspiring. The depiction of the civil war is as one expects. I specifically was enthralled by the performances of the lead actors and enjoyed every one of their tete-a-tete 's.

In short, after watching this movie, I have decided to reconsider my erstwhile apprehension and I am going all out to test whether this experience holds good for the other classics as well.